Robin Williams once described good Comedy Improv as deep listening and responding. This strikes me as holding a wider message for all of us, whether we are comedians or not.
What separates a truly hilarious comedy act from the one which leaves the audience feeling more self-conscious than the comedian? What separates a fulfilling conversation with one that leaves us feeling empty, not heard, or even misunderstood?
Deep listening.
When comedians are too busy thinking about the next something funny to say, they cannot also have the presence to really respond to what is being fed them, whether it is the lines from another comedian, reactions from the audience, or other incidentals on stage. Perhaps, what Robin Williams meant was in order to really make people laugh, comedians first must be connected to their surroundings. And in order to connect and respond effectively to their surroundings, they have to be deeply present, not miles away, lost in their heads trying to impress, searching for the funniest line.
This extends off stage into people’s everyday lives. When we are interacting with others, we are often busy navigating chatter in our brains about what we want to say next, striving to appear smart, witty, caring. Perfect. With such preoccupations, how present can we really be when we are talking to co-workers, friends, our children or partner? What are we missing? Not hearing?
Deep listening. Deep presence.
It involves redirecting our attention from that relentless brain chatter of taking inventory of ourselves back to our surroundings, to what is feeding us. It next involves allowing for silence, space, a pacing in our interactions; an authentic, unscripted unexpected response to happen. Unplanned. Candid. Connected to our surroundings and our audience of many…or one. There is no rush to say or do anything back at all. A response is inevitable. It will come. And it may surprise us how perfect it is.