When a Simple Poem Understands Us: A Prescription
I love this passage. When I saw it for the first time, I instantly felt like someone out there understood me. Someone out there was talking about something that I hold dear: a love without a ledger, a giving without scorekeeping nor martyrdom. I walked around the rest of the day feeling infinitely better than I did before reading it. How could a handful of words have had such an impact on my mood?
Indisputably, a good feeling is when we feel understood by another. Perhaps it has something to do with feeling connected, which I believe – and read about – to be a basic human need along with food, water and shelter. There is ever increasing neuroscience research espousing the human condition to be the result of a series of hard wiring in our brains; ones that necessitate us to be social, to depend on each other for our emotional and physical well-being. And how do we fulfill this need?
We forge friendships and intimates and create all sorts of systems that give our individual selves a sense of belonging, purpose and accountability to each other. Artistic expression is yet another way for one to reach out to others as a way of explaining and sharing experiences. This is how I understand things. This is what I find matters. This is what we are saying when we draw a picture, choreograph a dance, or even in how we prepare a meal. And when we receive another’s expression, we have the potential to feel heard, witnessed and connected as well. That is exactly what I feel too. This speaks to me. I couldn’t have said it better.
Poetry is giving sound and rhythm to silence, to darkness, giving it a shape, turning it to light. When we read a poem that speaks to our experience, there is a shift, a click within. Someone has understood our darkness by naming their own. We feel less alone. Therapeutically, the “I” of us gathers energy and insight. Our world expands.
In her article “Poetry Kept My Patient Alive“, psychotherapist Ruth H. Livingston illustrates one of many, many ways people shout from the mountaintop, “Understand me!!” Our best gift to ourselves and to others is to not assume just when, how and what context that feeling of understanding and connection will happen. It could be in a quick exchange at the grocery line, a knowing glance from a co-worker, or a post on social networking. No matter how it comes to us the true gift to ourselves and others is to be present, open and ready to enjoy it. And as neuroscience tells us, not only does it feel good, we need it to boot.
