Couples Counseling
My Philosophy
Rather than viewing struggles through a lens of who is right and who is wrong, I work with you to identify the dynamics in your relationship that are persistently creating distress and disconnect.
Is this you?
- Want to be a better communicator?
- Want a deeper connection?
- Feel like you are never intimate?
- Make time for others but not each other?
- Miss how you were when you first met?
- Feel like you don’t understand each other?
- Feel that stress in other parts of your lives leads you to be distant with each other?
- Find it hard to give or receive affection and love?
- Feel your words often get “lost in translation” when you try to talk?
- Feel resentful/resented?
- Have a tough time connecting?
- Argue over what seems like small and silly issues?
- Find yourselves in a full blown conflict over what feels like nothing?
We will explore…
- Possible new rituals, systems, and routines.
- The contexts where stress occurs most.
- The contexts where connection seems most possible.
- When and how your arguments escalate.
- When and how you trigger each other.
- How to self-regulate to help repair connection.
- Individual Attachment Strategies and how they affect your relationship.
- The amount & quality of time spent together and apart.
- Your living situation and schedules.
Kind words from clients
“Ellyn is caring and insightful with an uncanny sense for knowing when to nudge in a direction which invariably leads to a breakthrough.”
Her professionalism, wisdom and warmth are a wonderful combination and a treasure in my life. Whenever an advice columnist suggests someone should seek counseling, my overwhelming inner response is always, “Find Ellyn!”
Current Client
Working together
We will simultaneously uncover you as yourself and the you within your relationship.
When we have a strong sense of ourselves as individuals, and learn to tune into what our bodies are telling us what we need, we tend to be less reactive with, and more curious about, our partners’ words and actions.
When we trust that our partner is on our side, we are more able to move with compassion, speak our truths, and feel safe to ask our partners for clarification and understanding when their words or actions confuse or hurt us.
The basis for every individual’s behavior, actions, and responses comes from the fundamental human need to connect and belong. We won’t know how to be with others until we know how to be with ourselves.
Those in distressed relationships often feel like they have one of two options: stay in the difficult relationship or leave. These are not the only choices, and together we can explore the complex myriad of possibilities that can better serve both you and your relationship. In understanding your relationship’s co-triggers and learning tools to decrease escalation and manage emotional dysregulation, there is an opportunity to gain insight into both our partner and self that leads to healing, deeper connection, growth, and change.
Further Details & Investment:
Services offered via video conferencing or telephone.
$125 per hour session.
Ready to learn more about you?