Relationship Counseling
My Philosophy
Those in distressed relationships often feel like they have two choices: to either stay in the difficult state with each other, or move on from each other. These are not the only choices, and your process with me will be about exploring the myriad possibilities of togetherness.
Is this you?
- You want to better communicate
- You want deeper connection
- You feel like you are never intimate
- You make time for others but not each other
- You miss how you were when you first met
- You feel like you don’t understand each other
- You feel that stress in other parts of our lives lead you to feeling distant with each other
- You find it hard to give or receive affection and love
- You feel your words often get “lost in translation” when you try to talk
- You feel resentful/resented
- You have a tough time connecting
- You argue over what seems like small and silly issues
- You find yourselves in a full blown conflict over what feels like nothing
We will explore…
- Amount & quality of time spent together and apart
- Living situation and schedules
- Possibilities of new rituals, systems and routines
- Contexts where stress occurs most
- Contexts where connection seems most possible
- When and how your arguments escalate
- How and when you trigger each other
- Individual Attachment Styles and how they affect your relationship
Kind words from clients
“Ellyn is caring and insightful with an uncanny sense for knowing when to nudge in a direction which invariably leads to a breakthrough.”
Her professionalism, wisdom and warmth are a wonderful combination and a treasure in my life. Whenever an advice columnist suggests someone should seek counseling, my overwhelming inner response is always, “Find Ellyn!”
Current Client
Working together
We will simultaneously discover yourself within your relationship…
When we have a strong sense of ourselves as individuals, we tend to be less reactive with, and more curious about, our partners’ words and actions.
When we truly believe and trust that our partner is on our side, then we are more able to not make assumptions, speak our truths, and feel safe to ask our partners for clarification and understanding when their words or actions confuse or hurt us.
The basis for every individual’s behavior, actions and responses comes from the fundamental human need to connect and belong. We won’t know how to be with others until we know how to be with ourselves.
Rather than viewing struggles through a lens of who is right and who is wrong, I work with you to identify the dynamics in your relationship that are persistently creating distress and disconnect. In understanding your relationship’s co-triggers and learning tools to decrease escalation, there is an opportunity to make changes and gain insight about self and the other that leads to healing, deeper connection and growth.
My Approach
Further Details & Investment:
- Services via video conferencing or telephone. Individuals can be on different devices or share one.
$125 per hour session
Ready to learn more about you?